Wednesday, June 27, 2007

The hill of death.

Monday, Kori and I went out to the Cornman course to swim and bike the course (they have the buoy up all the time I guess). That part of Iowa? Pretty damn hilly. And not just by Iowa standards, IMHO! The course was a rollercoaster, as was the day.

Up: It was a gorgeous day out.

Down: (TMI Alert!!!) I realized I think my tri shorts might create a camel toe.

Down: I was 20 minutes late picking up Kori because I put my bike rack on upside down. Kori is the most prompt person I know, so I feel bad making her wait.

Down: I got bike grease all over my new tri top.

Down: My left mirror fell off and it banged on my car door for the entire hour ride.

Up: Because of this, I avoided the highway and the backroads were very pretty.

Up: We arrive at the lake and I realized 500 m isn't really that far.

Up: We start swimming out to the buoy and the teenage boys playing in the water tried to swim out with us but gave up pretty quickly with quotes like "You're going all the way out to the buoy! I think I'd die!"

Up: I really like open water swimming. This was my first time (I finally got some inspiration).

Down: I think I am cruising along, but it still took me about 14 minutes to do each 500 m lap, which would put me pretty close to last on the swim, also meaning that depending where we start, I could get swum over a lot.

Down: The bike course starts on a small hill.

Down: The hills never end.

Down: There is a ginormous hill at mile 3 that I had to walk up. It was so steep I was afraid I would come to a stop and fall over while clipped in. Even someone in Colorado heard it was a killer. I didn't believe people when they said there is nothing in Ames that compares. So I may humiliate myself by walking up this hill. We are going to go back out and practice it this weekend.

Up: I hit 37 mph going down the backside of the hill.

Up: Most of the course is gentle rollers, which I like.

Down: We got lost in Gladbrook.

Down: We pulled over to figure things out and I clipped one leg out and leaned the wrong way and fell over on the gravel on the side of the road, cutting the plam of my hand and my legs.

Down: The old guy we asked for directions spent the entire time looking at my chest.

Down: When I fell over, some bits of gravel apparently clung to my damp tri shorts, so it was like a booty exfoliation the whole way back.

Up: We finished during sunset, which was just beautiful over rolling picturesque farms.

After finishing this course, I was all ready to sign up for the Iowa Games tri instead. The problem with the Iowa Games is that they give the same t-shirt for every sport (no distinction between a triathlon or bowling!) as well as to the volunteers. And as we all know, I am only in this for the t-shirt.

Yesterday Kori said "Let's not be wusses. Let's earn our shirt on that hill."

That's a lot coming from Kori, as she absolutely despises stereotyping of Iowa as a place full of corn (hence she was not loving the Cornman t-shirt).

So we are signed up. That hill must be conquered under consequence of humiliation. I have one and a half weeks to make it my bitch.

7 comments:

Lisa said...

That was very funny. Especially the part about boot-eh exfoliation.

I think says a lot that you even earned the respect of teenage boys! Here in illinois, they just make fun of me for being an a bicycle.

maybe teenagers are nicer in iowa?

Danielle in Iowa said...

Uh, no. They make fun of me for being on a bicycle as well. And these kids were being quite obnoxious in general. So it was sort of nice that we dropped them :-)

Phoenix said...

Congrats on your first open water!! Sounds like it went really well!

Yeah, up hill sucks, down hill ROCKS!

You will make that hill your bitch. I know it.

I can't tell you how many times I have done the "clip one leg out and fall over" routine. You are not alone.

Laurie said...

Too funny! This might be my favorite post of yours.

I realized recently that I like open water swimming too. Let me know when you go to Peterson Pits again.

Duane said...

Hey Danielle! You won't be the last on the swim, you can swim over me!:-)

You're really freaking me out about those hills now! :-)

When I finally finish this madness and you've had a nice nap and shower, come back and meet me at the finish line!

You are funny!

bryan said...

You got lost in Gladbrook? Aren't there only, like, four streets?

Audrey said...

hells yeah you have to sign up for redemption!